hasn't happened yet
my therapist asked me today if I was suicidal and I wasn't sure what to say. I don't think I am but I wouldn't mind if I was taken in my sleep tonight, I wouldn't even put up a fight. what does that make me?
I've wasted so much time trying to figure out my life that I don't think I want to talk anymore, I'm too exhausted and don't know what to say, so I'm closing that door. it's over, but it feels like it hasn't happened yet. and again and again I just want to stop existing, don't want to feel nothing anymore. it's unfair for everyone to just leave and lock me in here.
I'll just crawl in my bed, close the drapes and sink in my pillow until it happens.