forgettable
spent the whole week training another senior developer to do my work after I leave my job today, knowing very well that months before I was thrown to the lions with zero help, and I built all the ladders and protections so it doesn't happen again to anyone else. and I again can't shake the feeling that the company doesn't deserve this, the people around me don't give a shit about me, but still I can't let go of doing it properly.
and then the last day comes around. and after a whole year of being severely underpaid compared to my colleagues, and still stupidly going above and beyond, crickets. no meetings, no exit interview, no off-boarding, nothing. no messages from my colleagues to exchange contact details so we keep in touch. it's like I was never even here.
first time something like this happened I thought it was just that company. but this is now the third time in a row, so I guess it's time to finally learn the lesson. dispensable and forgettable, that's what I am.
all I feel again is being displaced, stuck in a place where I hate everything around me but too tired to change it. so just like back in October I forced myself to risk it and try and change things, hoping I don't get hurt again. it's becoming harder to bounce back from these things in one piece.